Sauron

Sauron is what many people would describe as being a 'Gangsta'. For a start, he loves his bling. Seriously, if he loses just one piece of bling, he'll wage a war just to get it back. Which can mislead some into thinking that the ring is worth a lot more than it actually is.

He has nine hooded Gangstas to help him find his bling. They all talk in thier own made-up language, which consists of them shrieking like a pig thats been stabbed in the foot until someone pays attention to them. They then proceed to talk perfectly normally.

Sauron used to have a body until his finger got cut off, and he got so mad that he decided to erase all parts of his body apart from one eye, that grew really big and turned into a lighthouse. Every day he wakes up his army of orc warriors by shining a light in their face, he does this to every orc in the whole of Mordor which is why it takes so long for him to get anything done.

He has a new best friend called Saruman, their names are oddly similar but no-one comments on this for fear of being blinded by Saurons Eye.