Original Scriptures of the League

-Jorgey, who goes 'You'll feel the pain 'o' Reach!' and is utterly insane. He rules Jorgey's Covenant, and loves dancing. -Trask Ulgo, who seems to be able to turn invisible and changes his mind about danger. He is a master of disguise. -Carth Onasi, who replaces Trask and does not trust anyone, even himself -Herobrine, who doesn't actually exist. Or does he...? -Emewafwawa, who listens to 'Erl Koing', riding giant crotchets and watching children suffer -Viktor Krum, Whos good at quidditch but hit his head one time too many -Saruman, who is good friends with Count Dooku, and goes: 'So you have chosen... death'. He sounds like 'Sauron'. No connection. -Mr Merrilocks, who climbs walls and snatches kids in the night... spooky... -Mr Birling, who is an idiot and hates investigations. -Jenkins, who is super-strong but dies in one shot. And he has big ears. -Boba Fett and his Dad, who both die anticlimatic deaths. Guess it runs in the family. -Slenderman and his gang, including the Rake, the Shroud and Slender. They abduct people. -The Revenant, who lives in the nearby Church and likes lecturing people, thus boring them to death. -Maxwell, who can create objects at will and never stops smiling. -The rest of the Cult of Skaro, Daleks Sec, Thay and Jast. -A Talking Tree, Who spreads the spirit of Norvay (not Norway, Norvay. Norvay is blue) -Frosty: He commands an army of vicious smiley snowmen to achieve a victory of endless winter -Darth Traya, who hates everyone and complains about everything. -Darth Nihilus, who is one the front cover but is actually just a pawn. -Darth Malak, who has no mouth and no hair but can  talk and shave. -Darth Revan, aka Rarth Devan, who suddenly loses his memory as well as 3 foot in height. He is Trask's victim for two weeks. -Darth Maul, who doesn't speak and is highly overrated. He is dismembered by a padawan. -Darth Sion, who's made of rock and hates erosion and rain and water. He has one eye. -Darth Vader, who breathes really heavily and is actually black and white at once. -Darth Krayat, whos supposed to be the most ultimate sith ever but hes named after vermin. -Skaven, who are rats but they have alien technology. -Legolas, who can shoot anything from anywhere and still look like a Loreal model. -Gimli, who is the only dwarf in existance. He likes axes. -Aragorn, who is badass and can summon an army of the dead, when it suits him. -Frodo, who is strong minded but goes mad for elven bread. -Samwise, who follows Frodo everywhere, even up a volcano, but goes home when Frodo says. Despite this, he is awesome. -Boromir, who's good at fighting but really loves jewellry. -Faramir, whose dad hates him and yet he does everything his dad says for no reason -Drogo, who has no significance to anything that anyone has ever done ever. -R2-D2, possibly the most influencial figure in all of history. -C-3PO, possibly the least influencial figure in all of history. -The Balrog, who cannot pass. -Treebeard, who can pass. He leads political marches, what a tree-hugger! -Elrond, who is always concerned about fashion and rings. -Bilbo, who loves his tobbaco. -Smeagol/Gollum, who is less concerned about fashion. -Xenomorph Queen, who isn't the most attractive queen around. -Master Chief, who likes computers in a wierd way and asks 'whats that' to everything since he's no longer mute. -Altair, who can survive a 90 foot drop into a bail of hay but can't survive falling in water. -Ezio, who gets a woman pregnant just by looking. He might be welsh, or at least his descendent is. -Conna, who is a walking armoury and has a really bad haircut. -Nikoli, who is a russian assassin who's always drunk. -Juno, whos simply the biggest bitch in town. -Cortana, who is the second biggest bitch in town, except she's got 'the index', if you know what i mean. -Templars, who cant see you if you're sitting down and rule the world with their funny hats. -Ood Man, Ood, ood ood ood, ood ood, ood ood, ood. OOD! -Aayla Secura, what a babe! -Didact, who is rather unlucky when it comes to location. Hes supposed to be a genius, but hes an idiot when it comes to planning. -Claptrap, who gets his revenge. But life gets its revenge on him on the way. -Boys from the Dwarf, who have everything but dont know what to do with it. -Terminator, aka T-100, who's awesome in every respect and go 'Hasta la Vista, baby' and 'I'll be back' -Mr. Freeze, he hates ginger women and anyone stronger than him. He killed the dinosaurs.