Duel for the Golden Crossbow

The Duel for the Golden Crossbow was a Duel between Chosen Juan and Mr. Rage to see who would finally claim the Golden Crossbow. The Duel took place in a place (apparently) called Juanville, as Chosen Juan had stolen the Crossbow from Rage and taken it there. This was perfectly justified, however, since Rage had originally stolen it from him.

The Duel began when Rage entered the domain of the Chosen Juan and grabbed the Golden Crossbow. He used it to attack Juan's minions and Juan himself soon descended to confront him, but not before carefully preening his own Quiff for combat. Rage raised the Crossbow to fire at Juan, but just as he fired, an inflatable doll sprung from a nearby cupboard and took the shot, falling to the floor deflated and withered. Enraged, Juan lunged at Rage, who had only just realised what had happened, and knocked him to the floor.

Rage dropped the Crossbow which Juan then grabbed, and they fought over it for an hour. It took a long time because they were just hitting each other like girls. During this time, the Mafia sent Le Bougne to investigate the loss of contact with Juanville, and as soon as Le Bougne arrived on the scene he was hit with a stray bolt from the Gold Crossbow, killing him instantly and awarding Mr. Rage with the 'Sticks and Stones' medal he had been lusting after this whole time. This did not stop Rage from continuing to wrestle with Juan over the Crossbow out of pure spite, however.

Eventually, they both pulled so hard on the Crossbow that it snapped, the explosion blasting them both back. Again enraged, Juan raised the splintered Crossbow handle and impaled Rage with it, executing his seemingly eternal foe once and for all. After defeating his foe, in lament of his fallen bride and destroyed prize, Juan committed Seppuku and fell to the floor, dead.