R'tas Brand Heavily Armoured Mobile Toilets and Urinals

R'tas Brand Heavily Armoured Mobile Toilets and Urinals is a sub-brand of R'tas Brand Toilets and Urinals Inc. which specialises in providing vehicles for the Covenant. Despite their name, the vehicles they produce aren't all that heavily armoured, only the onces reserved for the Elites. However, this does not mean that all the loos are bad. They served their purpose alarmingly well. The brand was set up by Shitmaster because he realised the Covenant was crap. These are some of their products.

Super Anti Diaper Bog Maximus
This particular Covenant toilet, commonly referred to as the 'Wraith', is used by Brutes when they need to go. It utilizes an excretion condenser to condense the excrement into a ball of blue-hot plasma which is then hurled at enemies. People don't realise that the Wraith actually comes in two versions. One that can only hold one Brute at a time, and has a smaller plasma mortar. The other version can hold a Grunt and a Brute, and has a big turret at the top as well as a mortar. The turret shoots superheated Grunty Urine. Shitmaster also created a variation called the Super Anti Diaper Bog Deluxe, which got covered in poo and turned brown. The Grunts decided to attatch Fuel Rod Guns to the back and, in all their idiocy, assigned it to be an Anti-Air device. Which is odd since it couldn't hit a bright pink duck in a barrell of poo.

Really Fast Grunt Poo Machine
These things, also called 'Ghosts', are used by Grunts to store their poo. Initially, the poo is just kept in the hull of the vehicle. However, the brand eventually developed a way of transforming the poo into a method of boosting, to allow the Ghost to go faster.

Flying Poo Dispenser Deluxe
This thing allows the Covenant to deploy poo... and soldiers... all across the battlefield. It used to have three poo dispensers, but it later switched to just one poo dispenser. The ship itself explodes if it is hit by too many Human missiles, and when it is about to explode it drops to the floor and shrieks before blasting poo all over the place. Yuk.

Giant Diseased Poo launcher that sprays shit across the Battlefield
It looks like a big beetle of some kind, and you can destroy it by hitting its arse. For some reason, it sprays poo out of its mouth. Apparently it is run by Hunters, which is odd because they do not even produce poo. Some people think that the poo comes from a Brute toilet facility buried deep within the machine. You can sometimes hear Truth's voice eminating from the ship as if it is somehow used as a beacon for his lies. Just goes to show how much shit comes out of Truth's mouth.

Amazingly Fast Poo Transporter
Rarely seen, this recent addition to the arse-nal of the Toilet company is basically used to transport Poo too and from the battlefield. Johnny has only ever seen a handful of these, and that was when he was travelling through the tunnels of New Mombasa. The Covvies thought that the tunnels were sewers and so used them to transport all the poo. Johnny destroyed all the Poo transporters and in so doing spread poo all over the battlefield. Again.

Mobile Elite Urinal for the use of His High Majesty the Shitmaster
This is a purpley-pink urinal used by Shitmaster alone, but he often lends some to his soldiers. It is not seen after the defeat of Tartarus's Brutant Buddies as Shitmaster has no need for it anymore, since he has his Shadow of Intent toilet to deal with his waste. Nevertheless, it served its purpose well, and Shitmaster once took down an entire Brute cruiser with one. He must have released his poo into the ship and made all the Brutes die of Lung Implosion, but this is only wild rumour.

Average Poo mobile used by Elite couples and Kat
This machine was created soley for the use during the Battle of REAAAACH!!!! and is also known as the Covenant car because it holds two Elites behind the hood. The car itself even has a tiny poo launcher.