Quest for the Tower of Mist-Ery

The Quest for the Tower of Mist-Ery is a League folk tale and legend about the heroes of the War on the Maths Mafia. Characters in the story include Shirazzle Dazzle, Noiall, Spein and Strongarm. The story begins on a dark, cold night, on which Strongarm gets a letter in the post. The letter tells tale of a strange Black Tower, known as the Tower of Mist-Ery, contained within the immense shroud of the Ormskirk Mist. Strongarm decides to call some of his warrior friends to go on a quest to find this Tower, and claim whatever treasures may lie inside.

After summoning his pals and beginning on their Quest, the Heroes realised that, in order to reach the Tower, they must first penetrate the Mist itself. After finding a way of leading the Mist away from them using laser weaponry, the Heroes burn their way into the Mist's domain and are immediately confronted by the ominous Tower of Mist-Ery.

After travelling across the plains and flatlands of the region they at last reach the Tower's front doors, upon which are scrawled in strange lettering 'THIS IS NOT YOUR GRAVE, BUT YOU ARE WELCOME IN IT.' The door then slid open silently. Upon entering, the Heroes are confronted with a massive beast of a man, nearly eight foot in height, who carries a massive wrench. After querying him on the location of the Tower's treasure, he indicates a staircase and a lift.

This is where accounts differ. Some say that some of the Heroes took the stairs and others attempted to take the lift, but some say that they all took the lift, but either way the lift opened to reveal, not a lift, but a massive lift shaft with a precarious ladder leading all the way to the top of the tower. After bidding farewell to the man, who was now attempting to sort masses of wires and machinery in a side room, the Heroes ascend one way or another.

Upon reaching the top, the heroes are confronted by a fridge. The fridge has unreadable lettering scrawled onto the front of it with fridge magnets, and any attempts to open it were rendered useless. So the Heroes waited. Eventually, a deafening noise filled the air, and a huge mecha emerged from a far corner of the Tower. Drawing their blades, blasters and cabers, the Heroes moved into a defensive position but the mecha reacted quickly and shot Shirazzle Dazzle instantly, causing him to fall to the ground. Extraordinarily, Spein leaped in front of Shirazzle and knocked back the next shot with his caber, as Strongarm moved behind the mecha and disabled it by pulling out its plug. As the mecha tumbled, it crushed the fridge and caused the door to fly off, revealing inside riches that had never before been seen.

Masses of assorted nick-nacks fell out, from dream catchers to bobble pens, snow-globes to plastic jumping frogs you get in christmas crackers. Our heroes leaped for joy, as their journey had been worth the effort after all!

Oh, but what's that you say? What about Shirazzle Dazzle? Well, he survived, according to most accounts. Strangely, one account said Shirazzle Dazzle had died, but this was written by Emperor Wassabe I, who has a tendency to lie. For all intents and purposes, we'll just say Dazzle survived.