Consolo Commando

Consolo Commando is a close friend and bodyguard of Spein. After Spein was elevated in the ranks of the League, Æthelhelm, the greatest Housecarl of the Papal State, now known as Consolo Commando, was assigned to protect him. Consolo Commando is afflicted with an addiction to 'The Console', a parasite that has started to affect his speech, decision making and martial prowess. Consolo Commando commands the console (or it commands him) in order to aid him in defeating enemies. For example, his personal favourite 'Cash Cash Cash' gives him lots of money with which he can hire merceneries to build a private army. He also uses the old 'Prestige' command to make people worship him. It really is quite effective.

It doesn't work on multiplayer though.

Consolo Commando aided Spein in many missions following the War on the Maths Mafia and also went solo on a few missions, teaming up with the likes of Noiall and Shirazzle Dazzle, such as on the Quest for the Ancient Ark. However, Consolo did once fight Spein in the Duel for the Red Belt. Consolo claims to be a purist in all things, and is known to have ran over every monkey at a zoo whilst driving a big red truck. Consolo's crusades against heresy are the stuff of legends, such as the time he burned his arch-nemesis Lord Protector Bayform Chickenfoot at the stake, and proceeded to revive the poor soul so that he could be burned again. Consolo is convinced that the Lord Protector is a demon manifested in human form, and it is therefore compassionate to submerge him in hell-fire, his natural habitat. Consolo reveres Clement the Great, who inspired many a crusade. Consolo Commando also has an affiliation with the strange being known as Princeps autem Consolus. Like most people, Consolo despises the Quad and all their antics, as he harbours a particular hatred for Queen Psychopath I.

It has recently come to light that the Commando is a fraud, in fact being a Francophone from the Americas who fled the Papal Army after being found to be a cowardly unbeliever. Having purged the truth from his memory, nobody reminds the Commando of his past, as it would cause him to spontaneously 'mega-evolve'. Riddled with disgust in his own impurity after dropping his geewun facade would cause Consolo to use the kill command on himself.